I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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