So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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