your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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