Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
