Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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