why im i the only drunk person in the library?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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