TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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