I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Pants are for mortals
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
