Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
