i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
