Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
