p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You dont lie about slip and slides
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
