that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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