I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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