She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
