I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
