Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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