he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
