I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
