I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
