If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wish you could order shots online.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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