hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
