So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
