3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
