What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Drunk is a universal language darling
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
