How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
