I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
