Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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