Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
