dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
