Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
