whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
