I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
