ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
false alarm, still single
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
