Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My dick has a subreddit
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
