Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
