shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
