Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
