i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
