You smell like a Billy Joel song
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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