Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Pooping to opera.
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