What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
