I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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