i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
