My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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