when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
