I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
