Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
