The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
