i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
