i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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